Discovering the Ampersand

A photo taken during Christmas 2006 had been one of my favorites.   In this picture my life was seemingly complete and perfect:  a healthy family, financial security, little stress and lots of activities.  Within the next few months my entire world began to change.  

Let me tell you a little of the story.  Shortly after that holiday photo was taken, I realized that active addiction was invading my "perfect" family.  As my son went into treatment, my husband experienced a life-altering job change.  As if this didn't rock the foundational elements of my life enough, shortly thereafter my father was diagnosed with terminal small cell lung cancer.  These pivotial moments dismantled all that I had been certain of in life.  These, most painful events,were also the events that led me to find a new way of living.  

In the midst of the crisis, my intent had been to write about surviving hard situations.   Outrunning God had been my previous and normal pattern.  Thankfully, He took the words and desire from me long enough to allow my experiences to marinate and transform into the growth points I have come to see them as today.  I do not pretend to know the whys, whats or hows.  Nor do I any longer feel the need to know these things.  What I do now understand is that things are not good or bad, they just are.  And the events that have been most painful in my life, have also been the catalyst to my greatest joys.  Life is not about choosing either/or, all or nothing.  The gift is in experiencing the and/both of every situation.  This is what I have come to know as Living in the Ampersand.

In 2019, I created Living in the Ampersand as a way to share some of what I had experienced as a healthier, more balanced and joyful way of living. I came to find this path as a result of pain and challenge, for which I am now grateful.  

Mine is not the journey I would have asked for, yet it is the journey I am grateful to have been allowed to travel thus far.  My goal in creating Living In the Ampersand, LLC, is to share what has been given and shared with me.  I am thankful for those who travel with me, for it is impossible for any of us to grow in isolation.  

Through our shared experience, we find community and hope.  We all encounter struggles and pain.  Simultaneously, we can find beauty and joy if we are willing to be present in the midst of it all.  This is the Ampersand.  All of it marvelously and uniquely woven together to bring us to who we were always intended to be.  Worthy just because we are.

My prayer is that in the sharing, you, dear one, might find that you are not alone.  There are others of us who have and continue to travel through periods of both light and dark, hardship and ease, sadness and gladness.  There is no good or bad, all or nothing.  All of it combines, becoming the and/both, joy-filled, fully present existence known as Living in the Ampersand.  

                                                                                With Gratitude,

                                                                                       Tina